Mrs. Taylor, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her classes:
"A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?"After a very long silence in the classroom, Little Johnny raised his hand.
The teacher called on Little Johnny for his answer.
Little Johnny answered, "A lawyer!"
The Crystal Ball Says
Jennifer visited a psychic of some local repute.
In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news:
"There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt - prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."
Visibly shaken, Jennifer stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands.
She took a few deep breaths to compose herself.
She simply had to know.
She met the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked:
"Will I be acquitted?"
Going to Jail
Three guys are going to go to jail and each gets one request before they get put away for a year.
The first guy says, "I want a year's supply of beer."
So the guards give him his beer and put him away.
The next guy says, "I want a woman."
So they give him a woman and lock him up.
Then, the third guy says, "I want a year's supply of cigarettes.
So, they give him his cigarettes and lock him up.
A year goes by and the guards come around to let the three guys out.
The first guy comes out totally drunk.
The second guy says, "We're getting married!"
Then, the third guy says, "Anyone got a match?"
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(Please note that these columns are written several weeks in advance so publishing the humor will be delayed accordingly.)